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Iowa’s One Night Stand - January 2, 2008

Like an aging farmer’s daughter, Iowa is getting ready for her quadrennial Date with Destiny. Every four years, the Hawkeye State gets all gussied and glammed for those suitors who come a-callin’ with their promises of national headlines, extravagant media buys and the chance to hear her name “Iowa,” “Iowa,” “Iowa” on the lips of every Tim, Wolf and Arianna.

Few can resist that siren song.  It has become the “Go” of U.S. presidential elections and you cannot pass this one and conceivably be in the game. Early on, Hillary attempted to navigate past the shoals of Iowa. Rudy's still trying, but it's not looking good. Mitt, for one, may wish he had and saved a few of his millions. But no, the sirens call, “You must come to Iowa”.  

So once again, Iowa has her day in the sun making political hay with the caucuses. And then, having been ravished (once again), by hundreds---now thousands---of campaign workers,  surrogates by the dozen who aren't exactly sure where Mason City is,  and media, media and more メディア(that’s media in Japanese),  the Media Carnivale will head out in the morning, or whenever they can get a plane east to NH, and Iowa is left with little more than rental cars that have to get back to Omaha.

Maybe this Morning After, Iowa will be bold enough to look herself in the face and say "Do I need this? Is this right?" Is the attention for attention’s sake enough? 

Do you really offer up more thoughtful, more considered opinions that the 250 million other Americans because you get Up Close & Personal with both the media and campaigns?  Or over the years have you gone from being a fresh, innocent albeit seductive, Dukes of Hazzard's Daisy to a more studied Marian the Librarian out to redeem the political snake oil salesman to something now that is beginning to look a little more like Kathy Bates in Misery?
  

Oh, they'll keep coming. The national media. The high-rolling campaigns.  With more money than ever before.  Everyone trying to win the “Heart of Iowa.’ Wooing the old gal or like James Caan begging for his political life---Who are you? What do you want?

The night comes.  This year so impossibly soon after New Year’s Eve when normally no one else looks twice at Iowa.  Where do you want to spend New Year’s, Sweetheart?  Las Vegas? Times Square? Iowa?

 

Who gains from the exercise?  Does anyone come out of it with their pride?  Iowa for being used?  The national media and campaigns for an easy story and win.

But everybody keeps coming back for their roll in the political hay.  It’s an easy story, particularly when you can sit around Des Moines bars and pick up most of the information you need.  Or set up campaign headquarters and send hired staff to places like Maquoketa for the first time in history.  Or when you can recruit the oxymoronic “paid volunteer” to be your precinct captain.

The neighbors---Old Mrs. Illinois with her XX electoral votes and those Nosy Sisters Missouri, Nebraska, Minnesota (XX, XX and XX respectively)---all watch Iowa swanning around and putting out her XX electorals for all their worth.

But at this age and stage, it’s an attention-getting indulgence with no relationship to political realities in a country that needs grown-up solutions.

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